#i was like that before i had a crash. idk what its called but undiagnosed adhders could do very well in school and then just crash
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#it is my headcanon that leander is mentally not quite right#bc i am not#redstrewn talks#would fit his theme of intangible otherness tbh#of invisible “monstrosity”#“ure making it up. its all in ur head. everybody does that. thats normal” and then they get pissed at u for failing to#meet neurotypical expectations#ok.#i also relate to the “mind over matter” and “u can do and be anything u want to” that he goes hard at#i was like that before i had a crash. idk what its called but undiagnosed adhders could do very well in school and then just crash#me rn#i would work hard and “play hard.” aka cry and scroll on my phone while not sleeping bc i felt like i had to or id go insane#who knew it was bc of dopamine deficiency!#i could put an act of normalcy. i have good days. and that would be weaponized against me for all of my many more bad ones#“you did it before you can do it again.” yes except im disabled#my version of “cocaine and drinking w ur friends” is chronically online and sugar#not to mention obsessions w crushes#not broken enough to be believed to be broken but broken enough to suffer#RSD is fucking crazy tbh. im headcanoning leander w that due to his insecurity and inferiority complex#this is why i like art and fantasy. u can make it mean whatever u need it to mean to u.
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